Get Negativity Out Of Your Life!
They say that the way to have a positive attitude and a positive
life is to surround yourself only with positive things and
positive people. What do you do then, when the negative
influence in your life comes from your friend, maybe your best
friend, or even worse, your spouse? If you are to take the
positive advice literally, you are going to dump them! We both
know that such advice simply is not acceptable. So what DO you
do? Firstly, have you considered the fact that subconsciously if
not consciously, such people could be afraid? Afraid that you
might be growing beyond them and leaving them behind? Afraid
that your success may diminish their own achievements or their
feelings of self-worth? All these fears and more are quite
possible and mentioned here that you may consider a different
viewpoint. In the ideal world, you convert negative thinkers to
your positive way of thinking. Unfortunately we do not live in
an ideal world and we would not want to force everyone to think
in the same way as you and I. What you do is simply this: Take
the positive step of accepting them for who they are - your
friend, your spouse. We All Have The Right To Choose! We all
have the right to choose. No-one can take that away from us. It
is no different for those who are close to us. We may not like
their attitude or way of thinking. We may even consider them to
be completely wrong or out of order, but that doesn’t change a
thing. Okay, so let’s say we do that. Where does that leave us?
We still have those negative vibes coming through. We have
already come to the conclusion that we can’t change the person,
so the only person left is ourselves. When the negative shots
are fired at us, what do we find ourselves focusing on? The
negative projectiles fired at us. Right? If we accept that we
cannot change the person, then we are left with changing our
thinking. That means how we think and what we focus on.The way
we feel after receiving negative input, is no more than a
reaction. Control your reaction and win. Expectations. When you
have a new venture, an idea, a piece of personal excitement that
you want to share, you expect a particular kind of reaction and
are quite disappointed when it isn’t forthcoming. Notice what
happens when you reverse the approach. I.e. When you have no
expectations whatsoever! Suddenly, even the tiniest positive
return is a huge bonus! If you don’t get any, then it ceases to
matter because you weren’t expecting any anyway! So, instead of
focussing on the negative, focus on the good. Focus On The Good!
To some extent you need to be single-minded, focussing on your
goal rather than theirs at that moment in time. So, if you
haven`t already done so, get your goal firmly fixed in your
mind. Determine how much you really want it, and ask yourself
whether or not you are prepared to pay the price. Are You
Prepared To Pay The Price? Does that frighten you? Paying the
price? It shouldn`t. Whatever we achieve in this life always
requires a price to be paid. Sometimes it is a financial amount.
Other times, it may simply be time, and so on. Every single day,
you are already “paying the price” on numerous achievements, big
and small. In this particular circumstance, the way in which you
pay the price is to focus entirely on your objective in such a
way that negative comments or influences simply have no
leverage. Believe in yourself sincerely and you will not fail.
As I mentioned previously, many “positive thinking” speakers
direct you to surround yourself with positive people and a
positive environment in order for you to remain positive in all
you do. I have no doubt that if you are able to achieve the
building of such an environment that it works! Picture the
scene: You get out of bed in the morning and the sun is shining,
the sky is blue. If you have a spouse, they greet you with a
kiss. The smiling postman never brings any bills. Everyone on
the way to work drives so happily and considerately. Your boss
holds the door open for you as you enter the air-conditioned
building and you have just the right amount of work to do to
keep you positively charged. You need to do something -.snap
your fingers! Wake up! It just cannot be done to this extreme. I
jest here. I still believe that to keep yourself surrounded by
positive people will work for you, but it is unlikely that such
an environment could be sustained for very long at all. This
would be the ideal world we mentioned. The fact is however, that
we invariably do not live in this kind of world and somewhere
along the way we associate with people who do not share our
values, ideals, excitement. What then? It could be our friends,
our family or worse, our spouse. Do we go away and quietly curl
up in a corner somewhere and forget about any “wild idea” that
we had? No. Of course not. What would be the point in getting
involved with any positive idea otherwise! No, the key is to
mentally consider those you associate with and determine those
who are supportive, forward thinking and positive. Get An
Injection Of Positivity! These will be the kind of people who
will not blindly say “well done, go for it”, but those who
genuinely encourage you to develop, to move forward, to make
something of yourself. Take a minute right now. Get out your
address book. Go through it and maybe highlight all those who
you know you can count on to be there for you. Those friends and
relatives that care about you and know you and know about the
successes you have had and are able to offer the encouragement
you need. What you do not need is sympathy. What you do need is
an injection of positivity from those you can count on when you
are under attack. When times get tough, these are your reserve.
Let me tell you how to prepare another reserve. One that you can
have to hand at a moment`s notice. One that when you immerse
yourself in it will give you that positive boost at almost a
moments notice. Your Positive Energy Booster! Take a hardback
notebook and your most comfortable pen and start writing. Don`t
write about just any old thing, but concentrate on your
achievements. Write about your successes. Write it so that the
pages flow with excitement and enthusiasm and emotion as you
reflect on all that you tackled and won. It could be major
projects, or it could be small tasks that were major things that
you achieved. Keep going. Fill the book if you feel up to it.
Add to the book as often as you are able and recognize further
successes. During those times when you are not writing in the
book, make sure it is readily accessible and not left on the
shelf to gather dust. In those moments when negativity is thrust
at you, take that opportunity to open up and loose yourself in
the pages of your treasure trove of success. Remind yourself.
Relive those experiences seeing yourself right there. Feel the
emotive elation you felt at that time. This is your positive
energy booster that will thrust you past the negative surge and
set you back on your path to your goals. Still need more? Let`s
talk about what you believe. Here is something of a deep
question for you that I cover in more depth in another article:
Why do you believe what you believe? Ponder on this question and
you will find the answer to be not so complex as it might sound.
You believe what you believe fundamentally because of your
experiences and the experiences of others in whom you trust. At
this moment in time, you believe that you will at some point
receive negative input from someone who is able to affect you.
Why do you believe that? Simply because it has happened before
or because there has been a similar scenario where the support
or positive input simply has not been there for you. This is a
scene you do not like, but for some reason up until now, you
have not been able to change it. All that is about to change.
You are taking positive control of your life. A True Story Have
you noticed what happens when you receive unexpected news that
just might have negative repercussions? Suddenly every negative
thought, experience, and even other people`s negative
experiences in such scenarios flashes before you and you embrace
them with loving arms! I recently had personal experience of
this within my extended family. My 19 year old niece had cause
to visit Germany as part of her university education. Her father
took her to the airport and waved her off. Her normal behaviour
was to keep in frequent contact with her parents to let them
know she was okay wherever she happened to be. Forty-eight hours
later, there was no word from her. Panic and desperation took
over. Suddenly every evil act that was ever inflicted upon a
young girl came to mind for her parents and others around her.
The more time that passed the deeper those impressions took
hold. Great lengths were taken to locate her. She became a name
on the official missing persons list. Many people became part of
what almost might be described as hysteria. Her father followed
the flight path himself and flew to Germany even though he was
not able to speak German in an effort to find her. After some
searching, he found her alive and well. She simply had not
decided it urgent enough to phone home and had written a letter
instead. Whatever you think of the scenario, look at the known
facts. Very simply, she had flown out and not reported back. In
the end, the reasons were very simple but lack of mental control
took over in a whole range of people who based their actions on
experiences, feelings, and emotions, rather than facts.
Visualization is a powerful tool. If you want to challenge
negativity. If you want to be in control. Focus on facts rather
than fiction. Other people`s opinions are no more than fiction -
their thoughts, their ideas. Sometimes that`s helpful, but not
always. Focus on success and be the leader. Be the example and
not the blind follower of opinion. Be considerate though and
realise that others are entitled to their opinion and feelings.
Use visualization so that it is a positive tool in your favour.
See your previous successes big and small. See them in your
mind. Focus on them and move on. Everyone has a right to their
opinion, but ours is based on fact. Enjoy success. Douglas JG
Harvey Life Coach - LifeSight http://www.lifesight.net
