The Refresh Orlando Heirs

I couldn’t believe that I was all alone with part of the cross that Christ had carried. It felt so strange to think that just an ordinary person such as myself would now be in the presence of the symbol that had forever changed the world. Just a short while ago I had sailed the seven seas and had behaved like quite an ordinary sailor.

But somehow my fate had now been cast with the Metropolitan Museum Of Art. Yes, I had a New York State Regents that certified that I was qualified for my position, but I had never taken Art very seriously other than to admire the works of the great ones. My most viable skill had always been accounting. But of course I became bored out of my mind by it, thus ending up in the Navy seeking adventure.

I had been brought up as a Catholic, so of course I thought that religion must be some sort of an extension of Bingo. Despite going to eight years of Catholic grade school, they never let us within 200 feet of a real Bible, so my entire concept of religion was that everything that was fun to do was a sin. We were taught that it was a mortal sin if a woman wore pants. And even if you never had sex with a woman, you were going to hell if you even thought about it, unless you were married to her. So after coming to the conclusion that they were all out of their birds that went tweet, tweet, tweet, I decided to join the Navy and catch up with all those fun sins I had been missing out on.

But now it was time to settle down and to have a normal job again. So, still bored with accounting, I played my art card and got a job with the Metropolitan Museum Of Art. But so much of the world had changed since all the years I had been away. I was surrounded by celebrities but I hardly knew who any of them were. I remember some crazed woman screaming at me one day demanding to know where her Gold Plates had been moved to. When I asked her why she was so concerned about what was going on in the Rockerfeller Wing she said, “don’t you know that I’m Happy Rockerfeller?”

So when the Vatican sent us the cross that Christ had carried I hadn’t even been aware that it had ever exsisted. As I stared in amazement I heard the sound of someone coming toward me with the sound of a clanging key. It was a black guy dressed in a very faded looking suite. “How did you get in here,?” I asked

“Oh, I have a key to every space in the Museum,” he said.

“Well, you’ll have to sign your name on this list. They want a listing of anyone that’s in this special gallery with the cross.”

“I’m always here, but I’ll sign this anyway,” he said.

“I’ve never noticed you here before. Why are you hear anyway,?” I asked.

“I came her because I wanted to meet you in person,” he said.

“I think you took a wrong turn somewhere, I’m not a celebrity,” I quipped.

“Yes, you’re not, but you’re more entertaining than you can imagine,” he said.

“Oh. I guess you heard about my not knowing who Dudley Moore was. The poor guy. He seemed so nice, but I never heard of his “Arthur” movie. I’ve just about been living in the jungle the last few years. They didn’t have any “Arthur” movies there, but a woman I had been staying with seemed to be quite amused at the site of two lizards making love on her bedroom wall. I mean who needs “Arthur” when you have that kind of entertainment.” I said.

“So you don’t know any of them,? he asked.

“I remembered who Tony Randall was. He walked into the office to see one of the paintings that’s hidden from the public.”

He looked at the painting and then looked at me, and took a deep breath, and said “You’re so lucky to be working here and being around all this wonderful art.”

I answered, “yes I am, but I’m quite willing to trade jobs.”

“So thats it?” he asked.

” Oh , just one more. After several months of talking to her someone mentioned she was the Presidents daughter. And I thought she was so entertained with my sea stories at lunch time. I can’t believe I never made the connection.”

She would say things like, “my Dad was in the Navy, my Dad was on a PT Boat.”

“I guess its a good thing I’m a Democrat.”

“So does America seem different to you after all those years,? he asked.

“Well, this may sound strange to say, but I feel as if America has gotten a soul since I’ve been away. It seemed to hit me all at once while I was walking down the street the other day. I heard this voice that sounded like an Angel emanating from a Tavern. I had to go in and see who it was singing on the juke box. I found that it was someone calling herself Madonna and the name of the song was called “Like A Prayer,” and what really struck me was that she didn’t seem like the typical kind of person that would be singing a song that had vast religious connotations.”

“Why do you say that?,” he asked.

“Well, I had observed first hand what I thought at the time was a regional fringe religious movement. The people were very nice. They told me about things that they expected to happen in the future. I listened to be polite, but I really didn’t understand it or even imagine the scope that it would encompass. It was just so strange. I was having lunch and a beautiful girl invited me to a party. But it was a party with cool aid and people playing relegious music. At first, the only one there that made any sense to me was the girls 12 year old sister that asked me if I thought she could ever become Miss America. I told her if that’s what she really wanted, yes, someday she would become Miss America. And I guess she had faith in my judgement because she really did become Miss America,” I said.

“So, what sort of things did they tell you,?” he asked?

“They told me that there would be a vast religious movement that would emanate in America and then travel to all corners of the world. But, at least, at the time, it was beyond anything that I could comphrehend. It just seemed so strange. She was one of the most beautiful woman I had ever met, but yet, romance wasn’t on her mind, but rather she told me that she wanted to save my soul.”

“And did she save your soul,? he asked.

“No she didn’t. I just couldn’t believe all the things she was telling me. I really couldn’t fathom the idea that someone could be that good. But as I traveled I began to understand what she was saying. When I looked out at the vast oceans and then I saw natives that swam with sharks that were protected by their faith it all started to make sense. I mean I’m not even saying that there is a God for sure, but there is something. When I was sailing in the waters where Christ had fished I could feel some sort of presence. I felt an alpha and omega.” I said.

“There is a God. I have that from the highest authority. trust me,” he said.

“Didn’t Richard Nixon once say trust me,?” I quipped.

“Oh yes, he did, didn’t he. I guess now I’ll have to come up with a new cliche,” he said.

Just then there was a knock on the door. As I got up to see who was at the door I observed my visitor and his clangy key melting into the Museum wall. The knock at the door was someone letting me know about the updated instructions from the Vatican. When I asked him if he knew who the guy was that signed the vistor book his face turned flush white as he said “that guy worked here, but he’s been dead for 15 years.”

About the Author

I keep a personal blog where I allow public comments at this URL. http://timothy.journalspace.com/ I also have a My Stories Blog at this URL. http://www.journalhome.com/timmack/

With almost 50% of workers complaining that their jobs are very stressful, it is no surprise that more than two-thirds of all medical problems are stress related.

Each day, workplace stress is credited with more than a million absences and at least 40% of all personnel turnover. Studies show stress is a primary cause of accidents, quality control problems, medical claims, and lost productivity.

Some people debate the exact percentage of stress related costs in each catagory, but few can object to the raw data or the results you see as you take action to control stress and improve productivity throughout your company.

Here are some practical ways to benchmark current stress levels and monitor future conditions.

1. Absenteeism - Require strict reporting of absences for any reason. It isn’t unusual for people to shade the truth to get a day off. Some research indicates that 54% of illnesses phoned in are actually for reasons other than medical. Compare your numbers with the same period last year. Chart how absences coincide with business cycles.

2. Presenteeism - Keep track of those who show up sick and risk spreading their illness. Maybe they’ve used up their “sick days” because of stress and can’t afford to stay home when they really should. If people miss work when they are well or if they feel too stressed to miss work when they are sick, stress control strategies are essential.

3. Tardiness - Develop daily reports and weekly summaries. Are some departments worse than others? Are people arriving late because they dread workplace stress?

4. Medical claims - Seek generic information from your health insurance company on the number and expense of medical claims. Categorize information by type of ailment and observe how the frequency of visits compares to major corporate activities or stressful times of year. You might find that stressful periods coincide with or precede increased medical claims.

5. Complaints and grievances - Keep records by department. Those with a greater numbers of complaints are probably ready for some stress- control strategies. Each grievance can cost you untold hours or more productivity.

6. Accident reports - Analyze reports from the perspective of stress involvement. Research how stress might have been the root cause of accidents. It has been said stress related accidents cost nearly twice as much as other mishaps.

7. Errors in judgment or misstatements - Develop a log of individual errors in judgment and misstatements - clear stress indicators. If employees are prone to making misstatements, they are prone to errors in judgment. Monitor decision-making ability and evaluate the cost of these mistakes.

8. Personal relationships - Note changes in the way people relate to each other and the actions that cause some people to become more argumentative. You can use this information to control stress for the entire organization or for individuals who are more sensitive to stressful situations.

9. Customer service problems - Review problems from a stress perspective. Reducing stress can lower the number of errors in order taking, preparation, shipping, and invoicing and improve customer relations.

10. Quality problems - Include a description of stress-related activities occurring before and during the period of concern in your quality reports. Watch for trends among certain employees or departments. Look for causes of stress and what can be done to control the stress reactions.

Corporate leaders and managers sometimes erronously manage stressed people by using increased demands and closer supervision. Instead, you should use stress-reducing techniques to manage the stressors. Benchmarking will help you prioritize and allocate assets to stress control.

Good managers understand the importance of positive stress in maximizing accuracy and productivity. And they know how to control the negative stress for the benefit of those involved and the bottom line.

Outside consultants and trainers can help you evaluate current stress levels and train everyone involved. Remember, stress control is a leadership responsibility.

Get my article about the top ten workplace stressors by sending blank email to auto-responder 10stressors@couragebuilders.com

Dale Collie - professional speaker, former
US Army Ranger, CEO, and a Fast Company top
50 innovative leader. Author of “Winning
Under Fire.” (McGraw-Hill) collie@couragebuilders.com

PLASTIC FANTASTIC
Engineers at the University of N.S.W have come up with a way to reuse plastic waste to produce steel.

•In Australia, every year over 1,000,000 tonnes of plastic is put into landfill.
•Only 10% of total waste plastic is ever recycled.

University of N.S.W engineers have come up with a process to combine plastic waste, which would normally be put into landfill, and combined it with coal to form carbon, for the steel making process, using a furnace with temperatures of 1600 deg C. The carbon is combined with other traditional products and melted in a blast furnace to produce steel.

Research has shown that plastics burn cleaner than coal, thus providing a cleaner source of energy, which is ever important to Greenhouse gas emissions crisis the earth is facing.

On 9th August 2005, the University of N.S.W won the prestigious Australian Museum’s “Eureka Science Award” for scientific research.

About the Author

Tobi Nagy is a small business develoment consultant and a specialist on developing sustainable systems. His website can be found at http://www.sustainable-development.net

Tips for an Effective Website

A successful website is something that everyone venturing into the new arena of Internet marketing and communications wants to have. Your website will often be a potential client’s first impression of you and your business. That being said, it is vitally important that your website represent you in a favorable manner. Your website is a component of your overall marketing strategy and should be reflective of your business and current marketing presentation. Just as your brochures and other print materials represent a level of quality and professionalism, your website should also represent that same level of quality and professionalism. As a point of comparison, you most likely wouldn’t have just anyone design your company’s marketing materials or for that matter, prepare your tax statements. Similarly, it is important that the person creating your website know how to effectively communicate both your message and style, and be able to create an effective experience for those visiting your site.

What does it really take to have your website be successful, and what are some of the most important steps you can take to make that happen?

1. If you intend to have a unique domain name for your website, you must first check to see if it is available. You can check to see if a domain name is currently registered at http://www.internic.net.

2. Set a budget for your website. It is important to know how much you can spend on your project. In considering costs, remember that a website is a complex matrix of text and images and a professional execution is very important. As a generalization, the larger your investment, the greater your return. In order to spread your investment over time, you can also grow and expand your website gradually. Don’t forget to include costs for promotion and advertising.

3. Determine the purpose for your website and the intended results. Does this purpose support the mission and vision for your company? The number of options and variables that are possible in the design of a website are virtually endless. Without a clear idea of the purpose for your website, you may end up putting time, energy, and money into a project which doesn’t meet your needs. If you know in advance the results you intend to achieve, you will be better equipped to create a website which will achieve those results.

4. Consider the design and layout of your website. Is it easy to use? Does it take too long to download? Is it easy for Internet visitors to find information? Does it meet the needs and expectations of your visitors? Several smaller pages eliminating the need for scrolling are often more effective than one long page. If an Internet visitor doesn’t have a positive experience of your website, she/he probably won’t return, or won’t tell someone else about it. An effective website often creates a reason for the visitor to return. This reason can take the form of unique information that changes on a regular basis, interesting and useful resources, or a way for visitors to communicate with you or with each other. Use your website to build a relationship with your Internet audience.

5. Promote, promote, promote.

No one will find your site if you don’t let them know about it. Your site must be posted to search engines such as Lycos, Yahoo, and Excite. There are approximately 20 to 30 main search engines and several hundred that are smaller or specialized. You can find an extensive list of website submission sites, services, and resources at http://dir.yahoo.com/Computers_and_Internet/Internet/World_Wide_Web/Site_Announcement_and_Promotion/.

Include your website address on all your marketing materials; business cards, and advertising; you can even paint your address on the side of a company vehicle. The idea is to have as many people see your site address, and thus your website. You may also consider hiring a publicist to help you get the word out.

6. If at all possible, begin your website now. The companies which have been on the Internet the longest are those which achieve results sooner. If you are in an industry which isn’t widely represented on the Internet yet, so much the better - you’ll be able to start off with a larger market share. It’s estimated that there are about 200 million people using the internet with 75% of them in North America. Start your Internet presence today!

Steve Lillo author of Websites That Work! is the President of PlanetLink, a website design and consulting firm which specializes in creating websites which get results. They also provide their Web Rx Service for increasing the effectiveness of existing websites. PlanetLink can be reached at http://www.planetlink.com or by telephone at 415-884-2022.