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Title: CAN YOU CONTROL IT?
Author: Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW
Email: mailto:editor@overcoming-depression.com
copyright: by Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW
Web Address: http://www.Overcoming-Depression.com
Word Count: 823
Category: Self-Help

CAN YOU CONTROL IT?

A tremendous amount of stress occurs when you don’t understand
and accept your limitations. When you attempt to control
something in life that is not within your sphere of influence
how do you feel and react? What is it like for you to experience
powerlessness?

Can you control another’s thoughts, behaviors and attitudes?
Are you able to make it rain or snow? Can you make a family or
friend’s cancer go away? It may be easier to consider these
questions from a detached perspective and say to yourself, “No,
I certainly cannot control these areas.” However, it’s
surprising how much of life folks struggle over which is not
within their control. More often than not, you are not aware
that you’re lack of peace has to do with controlling or worrying
about something outside of your grasp.

Independence worldwide is growing stronger, and what a fine
attribute to claim for yourself. Yet, as in many of the ways
people and nations grow, the pendulum often swings too far.
Nowadays it’s considered a character flaw if you cannot control
everything. Ever look at a parent and their child in public and
think, “Boy, I sure wish she’d get control of HER child!” How
much control can or should a mother have over a 6 year old
child?

There are many organizations, beliefs and traditions to
draw from when seeking help in this area of your life. A
powerfully wise tradition is the 12 Steps of Alcoholics
Anonymous. To not be an alcoholic makes you fortunate, however, I
hope you’ve been lucky enough to discover the wisdom of the 12
Steps. And for our discussion, the first step in particular.
Let me list it for you here…

We admitted we were powerless over [alcohol] — that our lives
had become unmanageable.

I put the word “alcohol” in brackets because you may place
anything in that bracket you’d like to. In fact, my invitation
is for you to test it out with a few of the more nagging things
in your life — how about depression, anxiety, marital concerns,
parenting issues, clutter, chronic pain…?

Attempting to control a thing in your life that is not yours to
control will effectively make that, and other parts of your
life, unmanageable. If you but ADMIT POWERLESSNESS in a
heartfelt manner, much can be different for you. Here’s the
catch though… If you admit powerlessness you may judge yourself
as a failure or someone else may do it for you. It takes
tremendous courage and humility to admit when something is out
of your control.

Admitting powerlessness in a situation does not remove
responsibility. For instance, the alcoholic who admits
powerlessness over alcohol is still responsible for the effects
of his/her disease on everyone around them, as well as for their
recovery today and in the future. This is covered beautifully
in steps 2-12 of the 12 Steps.

There’s a second catch though… a good one. There’s tremendous
freedom in a genuine admission of powerlessness. It’s as though
the heavy chains you’ve been locked into place with, fall to the
floor. It’s like taking your first big breath of fresh air
after nearly suffocating. The weight of a burden is cast away
and a different approach has its beginning.

Figuring out what you have influence over and what you do not
can be a challenge. If you were to take a sheet of paper and
create two columns, one with the heading “Can Influence” and the
other with “Powerless Over,” this will assist you in the process
of determining what areas of your life go where. This will make
this process simpler. There will be some areas you’ll have to
discern over. They will not conform easily to one side or the
other, and there may be components of a problem which you can
influence and other parts you cannot control.

Let’s take an in-law problem, for example. This one would
likely belong in both columns. You may not be able to control
what your in-law does (area for acceptance), but, at the same
time, you can set boundaries as well as decide what kinds of
thoughts and behaviors you will display when this person is
around you.

I’ll leave you with another very popular tool to help you with
achieving peace and joy in your life. We know it as The
Serenity Prayer. It was originally spoken in a presentation
given in 1932 by Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr. It was the ending to a
much longer prayer. Here is how we know it today:

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God,

Grant me the SERENITY
To ACCEPT the things I cannot change…
COURAGE to change the things I can…
and the WISDOM to know the difference.

Amen

Take the necessary steps today to unburden yourself of just one
area of your life that you are powerless over. You can do it.
You will discover a new freedom by taking this unique action
today.

About the Author

\
Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW is an author, university faculty
member, success coach and veteran psychotherapist whose passion
is guiding others to their own success in life. For weekly
doses of the webs HOTTEST success tips, sign up for Dave’s
powerful “Feeling Great!” ezine at
http://www.Overcoming-Depression.com
\

Amphibian from early permian, around 290 million years old:

Sclerocephalus

The rapacious amphibian Sclerocephalus lives in early permian, around 290 million years ago, in south west Germany. The biggest Sclerocephalus was 2 Meter long. The discovery site Odernheim in Germany is closed since 1986. The German scientist Georg August Goldfu (1782-1848) has given 1847 the name Sclerocephalus (”hard head”).

Micromelerpeton

The rapacious amphibian Micromelerpeton lives in early permian, around 290 million years ago, in south west Germany. The biggest Micromelerpeton was 25 Zentimeter long. The discovery sites Odernheim and Callbach are closed since 1986. The british scientists Oliver M. B. Bulman (1902-1974) und Walter Frederick Whittard (1902-1966) has given 1926 for fossils from Odernheim in south west Germany the name Micromelerpeton.

Branchiosaur Apateon pedestris

The rapacious branchiosaurs (meaning “gill lizard”) are very early amphibians from early carbon to the early permian (roughly 300 million years ago). It was not a dinosaur. Like all amphibians, they had to live near the water since amphibian eggs have no shells and must be laid in the water (or in very damp areas) or they will dry out and die. Fossils of these salamander-sized amphibian have been found in Europe. They were the closest relatives of the lissamphibians. The biggest branchiosaur was 10 Zentimeter long. The discovery sites Odernheim, Callbach and Jeckenbach in south west Germany is closed since 1986. The German scientist Hermann von Meyer (1801-1869) has given 1844 the name Apateon pedestris.

Discosauriscus

The rapacious amphibian Discosauriscus lives in early permian, around 290 million years ago, in Czech. The most Discosauriscus are under 25 Zentimeter long. An old discovery site is Boskovice in Czech. The scientist A. Makowsky has given 1877 the name Discosauriscus.

Teeth from dinosaurs

Spinosaurus

The rapacious dinosaur Spinosaurus is called “spiny lizard” because it had a series of spines up to 1,8 Meter long coming out if its back, perhaps forming a sail-like fin that may have helped in thermo-regulation. Spinosaurus dated from the cretaceous period, around 95 million years old, and was a bipedal (walked on two legs) predator about 12-15 Meter long, weighing 4 tons or more.

*

Other specialities from www.antiquitaeten-shop.net are fishes (Acanthodes, Paramblypterus, Palaeoniscum) from early permian, around 290 million years old, from Germany and fossils from late jurassic, around 150 million years old, from Solnhofen and Eichstaett: insects (grashopper, woodwasp, dragonfly), crabs and fishes (Anaethalion, Leptolepides, Tharsis)

*

Ernst Probst is a German science author and a fossil trader. He wrote more than 25 books (Deutschland in der Urzeit, Deutschland in der Steinzeit, Deutschland in der Bronzezeit, Rekorde der Urzeit, Dinosaurier in Deutschland, Monstern auf der Spur, Nessie) and founded the Antiquitten-Shop & Fossilien-Shop.

Wiesbaden - Wonderful saurs are specialities by the online-shop www.antiquitaeten-shop.net Founder of this online-shop is the German science-author Ernst Probst from Mainz-Kostheim, a part of the city of Wiesbaden. He wrote many articles and books about saurs, dinosaurs and other fossils. He sells the above saurs.

Ernst Probst is a German science author and fossil trader.

Contact:
Ernst Probst
Im See 11
D-55246 Mainz-Kostheim
E-Mail: ErnstProbst@gmx.de
http://www.antiquitaeten-shop.net

In my life, I have tried to be Good and Pure and True. In these qualities, I have failed miserably. Why is it so hard to be good? Why is it so difficult to act in harmony with our mental ideals?

From the sea of Emptiness, everything arises.

Many people on the spiritual path eventually come face to face with their “Dark Side” - that part of themselves that is very, un-enlightened, selfish and spoiled. Reactions are a great mirror. We shout at the driver who cut us off. We take advantage of our employees because they really need the job. We cheat on our diets, our spouses, and our promises. We want to be good. We want to live in harmony with our spiritual nature, but sometimes, sometimes when lust, fear, or power overwhelm us - a demon seems to take charge of our actions. He makes us do things we regret if others see, and “forget” if others don’t.

The lion kills the gazelle. The ice kills the last dinosaur. Man loves Woman. Man kills Man. Man creates monuments to the Gods.

Reactions. Words are easy. It is easy to say you are good, to say you love everyone and everything, to think to yourself that you are enlightened, to imagine that you give selflessly to the unfortunate. But actions, particularly re-actions are the great indicators of our deeper nature. Your “dark” reactions - both physical and emotional - are what the spiritual seeker must boldly face if they are ever to progress past a rudimentary taste of Inner Peace.

To survive, He kills. To spread his seed, He goes to war. To teach his children, he works his life away.

There are a million self-help books out there. Countless psychologists and billions of people who will all tell you exactly what you need to do to make yourself “better.” Let me posit that you don’t need to be fixed. Let me further posit that the only thing any of us are guilty of is a little fantasizing.

At his base, He is an animal. At his apex, He is a god.

One of the gifts of humanity is the gift of imagination. The problem is, sometimes we don’t realize that we are imagining. We believe some fantasy about who we are and all our “problems” rear up and slap us in the face when we don’t live up to that fantasy. Let me say that again. Our problems arise when who we really are conflicts with who we think we are.

Self preservation. Procreation. Possession. Defending the Tribe. Attacking to Survive.

You are selfish. You do lust after your neighbor’s wife. You really do want to be famous and rich and powerful. Your fantasy says these are all off limits to the spiritual seeker. That if you were a good man/woman/god you wouldn’t have those feelings.

War and Peace. Good and Evil. Love and Hate. Me and Them. One cannot exist without the Other. One cannot exist without Two.

So which is more real, your fantasy persona or your true, if somewhat repressed emotions? All this might sound a little funny coming from a man who claims to see God (a female god nonetheless) in a discarded banana peel, but damn it, I know my viewpoint is an illusion. Most seekers don’t realize their fantasies are really only mental images - ideals that exist only in their minds.

Below it all, the Source. Below it all, Emptiness. From the sea of Emptiness. All life arises.

Your “dark” reactions are simply little indicators of where your true self deviates from your imagined self. Deny your nature and live your fantasy. Embrace the Darkness, feel the burn - and you will quickly find the Light.

Wayne Wirs is the photographer and author of Fading Toward Enlightenment - Life between the Ego and the Ethereal. For more information about Wayne, his writings or his photography, please visit
http://FadingTowardEnlightenment.com

When I was a kid, I loved twisting Balloon Animals. When ever I had one made for me, I couldn’t wait to take it apart and put it back together. Of course they usually would pop on me in the process. But I think that this was the enticement. Trying to remake the balloon animal with out it popping was exciting for me as a seven year old child.

It wasn’t long before I set out to learn how to really make balloon animals for myself. In 1988, though we didn’t have the internet as we have it now. Since I could search the internet for instructions or directions, I went to the local library. This is still a great place to learn about stuff, whatever that maybe. I liked this approach because it didn’t require me to actually purchase the “how to balloon book” that I probably would open after a couple of weeks anyways.

Today, however, we do have the internet, to much the detriment of many libraries. So if you have a kid, or are a kid, and think that learning how to make balloon animals are a pretty neat idea, go ahead and search for instructions on how to make balloon animals. If I may suggest, start with the basic balloon dog. Don;t worry it’ll be fun. Instructions can be found at http://www.art-of-balloon-animals.ask-the-monkey.com/instructions/dog.php

The balloon dog is the basic animal shape. This is where it all begins. Think of it as the primordial ooze of balloon animal evolution. Plus, this is by far the most request balloon animal of all time. Why? It’s quick, easy, and people really like dogs.

Just by altering the length of the segments you could turn a dog into a giraffe, horse, maybe even a monkey. Use your imagination and a sharpie marker. Draw a face on it and show everyone who isn’t afraid of balloons, and a few who are, what a wonderful piece of art you’ve made.

Balloon animals seem to have a grip over children. Even at a very young age kids are mesmerized by the act of twisting a balloon animal. It can take the most hyper kid and calm them down. But beware, you will also be bombard with more questions then you’ve ever answered before. It can also take a shy quite kid, and make him extremely out going.

Michael FLoyd Balloon Artist since 1999 www.art-of-balloon-animals.ask-the-monkey.com