The Refresh Orlando Heirs

Eleven o’clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a man whom I’d recently met. We had been talking regularly and I just wanted to hear the sound of his voice.

No answer. After four rings his answering machine kicked in and I hung up. How strange. This man made a point of staying home during the week in order to get up at 5:00 a.m. for work. “Call me any time before midnight,” he had suggested. “I’m usually reading or listening to music.”

There could only be one explanation - another woman. I’d met him through a phone dating system. Obviously he had made a date with someone else and at this very moment could be in her arms. I stalked back and forth in my living room. Why had I expected him to be different? Just because he was punctual and said he “really really” liked me didn’t mean that I could trust him.

The next evening he called to say that he’d fallen asleep early. The phone had jarred him awake at eleven but there had been no message. He still sounded annoyed.

“Probably a wrong number,” I said quickly. Good thing he couldn’t see my face, because I could feel my cheeks flush.

That was when I realized that I had an issue with trust. Of course it takes time and experience to get to know someone - but I’d been quick to jump to conclusions. I took a long, hard look at my life. I claimed to have no luck meeting suitable men over the age of 40 and none of my relationships lasted more than a few months. Why? Looking back, I realized that I had chosen men who were unavailable - either physically (separated by distance) or emotionally.

Deep down I believed that men could NOT be trusted. Upon further reflection, I saw that my belief could be traced to feelings of betrayal in a long-ago relationship - the disillusion and let down I had experienced in so many ways by the man I’d married.

In the years following my divorce I had dated men with charm and charisma, who were also unreliable or unpredictable. I just wasn’t attracted to serious, responsible partners - they seemed boring by comparison. I poured my energy into my career and creative work and largely ignored my here-again, gone-again love life.

What had changed? With time I grew tired of relationships that were going nowhere. I decided that I wanted to meet an honest man with integrity, someone I could truly respect and appreciate. I also decided that I’d rather remain happily single than be with anyone who didn’t fit the bill.

That decision opened the door to a different kind of relationship - one based on friendship and trust.

How about YOU - are you ready to trust again? Here are some ways to tell:

• Do you harbour feelings of resentment or betrayal? If so, something in your current life can trigger these feelings and surprise you with their impact. For instance a new partner who arrives late for dinner one evening can remind you of an habitually tardy spouse and bring up unexpected anger. When you consistently “overreact,” recognize that you have a problem and trace it back to its source.

• Are you healed from the past? It is important to give yourself enough time to get over a person who once meant so much to you. If necessary, get help and support in coming to terms with your past. To truly heal, you also need to let love into your current life. Focus on developing nurturing friendships and new interests.

• Examine your beliefs - What do you REALLY believe or expect from members of the opposite sex? That they are out for what they can get? Unfortunately you will attract whatever you expect. It is also important to believe that you deserve to be well treated.

• Is there a pattern to your dating experiences? Are you drawn to the same type of character - e.g. someone who always puts you down, doesn’t do what he or she says, or has problems with drugs, alcohol or money? You may be disillusioned with love and feel you have bad luck when it comes to the people you meet. However you CHOOSE these partners for a reason. Look back and check for similarities. Then ask yourself what beliefs you must hold to continually repeat this pattern.

What I discovered is that I don’t need to trust a man as much as I NEED TO TRUST MYSELF. That is, to know that I am strong enough to leave a relationship that isn’t working for me. To do this, I need a high level of self-esteem and I must be used to treating myself well. Moonlight and roses just don’t cut it for me anymore - not if that’s all there is.

Copyright © 2004 by Thelma Mariano

About The Author

Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people’s lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.

thelma@u-unlimited.ca

Exciting Future Of Automobiles

New technologies will improve fuel efficiency, increase safety,
aid navigation and repair.

Bend Bohn, of the German auto components company, Robert Bosch
Corporation, recently predicted that internal combustion engines
will continue to dominate the automotive market well into the
21st Century. Automotive manufacturers have invested
considerable time and effort in attempt to improve fuel
efficiency in these engines, and they have been successful. In
fact the U.S.A. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), estimates
engines have become 30 percent more fuel-efficient over the past
15 years than previously. However the gains have been offset by
the introduction of increasingly bigger and more powerful
engines. The average engine in the present industry is 63
percent more powerful than 20 years ago.

John Heywood, Director of the Sloan Automotive Laboratory at
Massachusetts Institute of Technology, estimates new technology
will reduce fuel consumption by a third by 2020 and a half by
2030. Gasoline-electric hybrid vehicles and modern diesel
engines are significantly more fuel efficient than their
gasoline counterparts, but new technology in gasoline engines is
also expected to reduce fuel consumption.

Next year, General Motors will begin introducing “displacement
on demand” technology in their engines, reducing fuel
consumption by eight percent by using only half their cylinders
during most normal driving. GM predicts another 7 to 11 percent
in fuel savings can be achieved through use of continuously
variable automatic transmissions.

More advanced variable valve controls, already in the works at
BMW, are expected to further increase fuel savings, while Bosch
has recently developed it Direct-Start system. The system allows
the engine to shut off while idling, but it instantly restarts
as soon as the driver touches the gas pedal, igniting the
combustion mixture in the fuel injections system without
engaging the starter motor. Bosch predicts fuel savings of 5
percent with the Direct-Start system.

New and exciting automotive technology goes far beyond fuel
economy improvements. “‘I’ve been involved [with auto research]
for more than 30 years, and there’s more action and more promise
for improvement now than I’ve ever seen,” says Heywood.

New technology expected to hit the marketplace within the next
decade:

1) Active safety systems will include radar and cameras that
watch for danger. “We’ve put airbags just about every place you
can.” Says Toyota Product-planning Manager, John Weiner, “Within
the next five years the car will use algorithms to anticipate
hazards and intervene or warn the driver.

2) Keyless entry has already been implemented on certain
Cadillac, Infinity and BMW models and will be introduced to
approximately 40 different vehicles in the next three years.
Credit card style systems will replace car keys.

3) Navigation systems such as computer-like screens on the dash,
displaying navigation systems that employ global positioning
satellite and onboard DVD’s to provide the driver with
distractions, maps, and information on businesses such as
hotels, hospitals and restaurants. The video screens will also
have the capability to connect to PDA’s and cellular phones.

4) Wi-Fi hook-ups in almost every vehicle will provide weather,
news, and other information. “We’re going to see hot spots in
places like gas stations and restaurants,” says Peter Wengert,
marketing manager for automotive products at Microsoft.

5) Data collection will give vehicles the capability to collect
pertinent data that can be shared with dealers, manufacturers,
and other vehicles helping service personnel perform remote
diagnostics and help troubleshoot for a broken down motorist.

6) Onboard cameras will help detect blind spots, while helping
parents watch their kids. Many recreational vehicles already
have this technology at the rear and in front to “see” around
corners.

7) 40 Volt Electrical Systems will become standard to
accommodate the many new electric devices.
Voice commands are already in certain BMW’s, Jaguar and Lexus
models and will become common and necessary in order to operate
the various functions in cars.

9) Electronic pedals already in use in Mercedes, Chevy Corvette
and all recent Audi vehicles, brake-by-wire and accelerate by
wire pedals send an electronic signal rather than activating a
physical connection to the engine and brakes. Emergency brake
handles will also be replaced by electronic controls.

10) Programmable vehicles will let you use electronics to
express your choice of vehicle you wish to drive, says Stanford
professor of mechanical engineering Chris Gerdes. “You can have
it be as sporty or luxurious, as you choose.” Drivers of the new
Audi A8, for example can change the car’s ride by raising and
lowering road clearance.

Submitted by: Amsoil Inc. Dealer Rudy Hiebert
www.lubedealer.com/hiebert

Content Source: Amsoil Inc’s Direct Line, November 15, 2003 by
permission.