The Refresh Orlando Heirs

So many of my clients struggle with the concept of settling. Why do we settle? When we actually get to the point where we know what we want, what happens that we settle for less?

Several things can be undermining the ease of getting what you want.

It is easy to ask someone who doesn’t really matter to you in terms of romantic relationship for something you want. If you get in the habit of asking everyone for everything that you want in this manner, when it comes time to ask someone who is meaningful in the relationship department it too will be easy.

However, if you haven’t made it a habit to acknowledge everyone before you ask for something, it will be an intimidating task to ask someone who is intimate with you for something significant.

The closer someone is to the perfect mate, the more difficult it will be to ask that person for anything. It is risky. That person whom you have deemed to be “IT,” could say no, reject you or perhaps even get angry and break up with you. So the closer to perfect someone is, the more likely you are to not be specific with your desires. That way when he/she does not meet your expectations, you can avoid making a decision about whether this person deserves to have you in his/her life.

I have mentioned this in the past; let’s look at another scenario.

A man and a woman are friends, seeing each other several times a week, having sex and not dating anyone else. This is a relationship. If both parties in this situation do not admit to being in a relationship, one is lying. There are people out there who have a very bad habit of being non-committal. They learned this habit in high school when they didn’t want to commit to something because a bigger name might offer something better and they wanted to hold out for the best deal.

If you ask someone do they want to do something with you, the answer is a yes or no. The wanting to do something is either yes or no. There may be extenuating circumstances which might interfere with what they want to do, but those circumstances have no relevance on whether or not the answer to the question is yes or no. Do not settle for being treated as a stand by.

Some people do this because they are angling for a better offer. Others do it because it is habit. You allow it if you accept a vague response as their true response. When you get a vague response from anyone, the next thing that you say is, “What does that mean?”

This week I had a discussion with someone about being a priority. I was feeling slighted because he had other plans when I wanted to do something. He thought I was angry, but I told him no, I wasn’t angry. I just would like to be considered his first priority occasionally.

His response was that perhaps I didn’t recognize how often I *was* a priority. When I thought about it, I realized that I had no idea whether I was being treated as a priority by him at any time. The reason for this is that I do not know what other commitments, obligations or crises are facing him at any given moment. The only thing that I can be sure of is what is in front of me at any given moment.

If he is with me then I am his priority. However, that doesn’t mean that when he is not with me that I am not his priority. That depends on the circumstances. All of this depends on what I am thinking at any given moment. The bottom line of all of this is that I am responsible for my feelings and how I choose to react to them. Just as I am responsible for any doubts about my attractiveness, or how I deserve to be treated at any time. If I am treated badly, it is because I allow someone to treat me that way.

Anyone who does not treat you with respect does not deserve to have you in his/her life.

Call Susan, now for your complimentary coaching session today.

Phone 818-414-6032

Susan Sheppard
Getting What You Want
Relationship Coach
Author of the book
“How to Get What You Want From Your Man Anytime”

http://www.gettingwhatyouwant.com

e-mail me at Susan@gettingwhatyouwant.com

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Official Words from Getting What You Want
If you would like to use the article written by Susan in
this edition of Getting What You Want, permission is granted
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“5 tips that can save you from e-embarrassment”
compiled by the enterMediate Staff

1. Was your site made before 1999?
Odds are if your site was made before 1999, during the so-called “dot com frenzie” it probably looks it. Updating your overall look and feel is essential in keeping your business represented the way that is should be. Things like frames, scrolling text, popups, animated images that don’t match the rest of your site, are a few of the sure signs that you’re not putting your best online foot forward.

2. Have you visited your website in the past year?
Don’t laugh, so many times we get a no! Constantly updating your content and showcasing new products or events is key to your online presence. Imagine having a calendar from 1999 hanging in your office…it doesn’t come off well to a customer!

3. Does your website have an “end goal”?
What is the goal of your website? Do you want to make a sale? Offer free information? Entertain? Give a free estimate? This is a common problem with websites that haven’t been touched or looked at in the past few years. Too many web designers made a “landing page” for you with contact information figuring that was all that you needed. Things have changed. You have to guide a user from start to finish on your site, leading them to your “end goal”.

4. Does your site make you look as professional as you are?
Too many times we see contact emails that are @verizon.net, @yahoo.com, @hotmail.com, or @aol.com. This shows a web savvy user that you’re not commited to your online presence, and will most likely not even send you an email! Also, websites without a top-level domain (www.yoursite.com) are not even given a second thought. An online contact form is a great way to keep a user on your site, and show that you are dedicated to their feedback or concerns.

5. Are you commited to customer service?
If your company is as commited to customer service as enterMediate is, you would probably not be reading this. This is not a slight on you, or a rude lecture. We understand that when you’re busy, the last thing that you think of is your website. enterMediate wants to change that…It should be the *first* thing you think about. Relying on your website for the rest of your companies operations can streamline the way you do business. Consumers notice the smallest things!!!!

We understand that it is too costly to employ a person to be your “webmaster”, that is why maintenance services like ours could be just what you’re looking for.

We would love to hear any feedback that you may have.

Click here to contact us, or call us TOLL FREE at 1-877-891-4493 today!

About the Author

Andrew Olanoff is the Co-Founder of enterMediate, a multimedia consulting firm in the Philadelphia area. Andrew has experience in multiple internet markets, and enterMediate’s co-founder Michael Dittbrenner is a well respected programmer.

Make your own Computer

So you want to make your own computer? Don’t worry if you don’t
have the technical knowledge to make one, its not as difficult
as you may think.

The advantages to making your own computer

By making your own computer you are assured of getting the
highest quality because you have painstakingly researched every
component. Some shop based computers may sound good on paper but
often they use inferior parts like power supplies, cheap
motherboard, inadequate RAM, and so on

Warranties and Technical Support

If you are worried about warranties, you need not be. In most
cases you can get a manufacturers warranty on every component
you buy. As for technical support, you will find you will have
much better luck with getting questions answered through forums
on the internet than from technical support lines

Upgrades Are Painless And Fast When you build your own
computer upgrades are simple. You’ve already put it together so
switching a hard drive or changing the graphics card is
extremely easy..

He is the author of a best-seller, “The Bible, The Qur’ân and
Science” (1976). His classical studies of the scriptural
languages, including Arabic, in association with his knowledge
of hieroglyphics, have allowed him to hold a multidisciplinary
inquiry, in which his personal contribution as a medical doctor
has produced conclusive arguments. His work, “Mummies of the
Pharaohs - Modern Medical Investigations” (St. Martins Press,
1990), won a History Prize from the Académie Française and
another prize from the French National Academy of Medicine.

His other works include: “What is the Origin of Man” (Seghers,
1988), “Moses and Pharaoh, the Hebrews in Egypt”, (NTT
Mediascope Inc, 1994); and “Réflexions sur le Coran” (Mohamed
Talbi & Maurice Bucaille, Seghers, 1989).

After a study which lasted ten years, Dr. Maurice Bucaille
addressed the French Academy of Medicine in 1976 concerning the
existence in the Qur’ân of certain statements concerning
physiology and reproduction. His reason for doing that was that :

“…our knowledge of these disciplines is such, that it is
impossible to explain how a text produced at the time of the
Qur’ân could have contained ideas that have only been discovered
in modern times.”

“The above observation makes the hypothesis advanced by those
who see Muhammad as the author of the Qur’ân untenable. How
could a man, from being illiterate, become the most important
author, in terms of literary merits, in the whole of Arabic
literature?

How could he then pronounce truths of a scientific nature that
no other human-being could possibly have developed at that time,
and all this without once making the slightest error in his
pronouncement on the subject?”.

I’m waiting for a friend to pick me up. There are nine people coming for dinner and
I’m cooking. Our whole evening depends on my hasty retrieval from the train
station, and I’ve forgotten my mobile phone. I was standing on the platform,
fumbling for it in my bag, when I realised my phone was absent. I had told my friend
that I’d call her when I arrived at the station. Unsettled, but not yet disturbed, I
located the nearest payphone and picked up the receiver. It was then it dawned on
me: I didn’t know the number. The number was in my mobile phone! So, now I am
sitting outside the station wondering why I didn’t specify a time or place to be
picked up.

I watch other commuters rushing out of the station. I envy them their good
memories and handheld gadgets. “Hi, mate. Yeah I’m at the station. Where are
you?”, a man declares to the other half of the conversation, instantaneously
cementing his plans. I go to the payphone and call my boyfriend, I’ve been sensible
enough to write a few numbers in an archaic pocket address book. His mobile is
switched off. I leave a message asking him to tell my friend that I’m waiting at the
station. I pray that he gets it and –heaven forbid– his battery isn’t flat. I wait.
Waiting, I seem to recall a distant time when there were no mobile phones. What did
we do? How did we live without them? Have we become dependent upon mobiles?

In 2000, Anthony Townsend speculated in the Journal of Urban Technology that
people were becoming “dependent upon the connectivity that the mobile telephone
represents.” Prior to mobile phones, schedules dictated the movements of the
people who adhered to them. Punctuality was critical. If you arranged to meet a
friend at 6pm then you had to be there, or stand them up. Mobile phones allow you
to call your friend at 5:50pm and renegotiate. “Information can be updated in real-
time, negating the need to plan anything.” Many people, Townsend argues, have
grown accustomed to “the flexibility of scheduling and the freedom from punctuality
permitted by the constant ability to update other parties as to your status.” Once
your life includes the constant connectivity provided by a mobile, it is almost
impossible to disconnect.

Recent surveys in Britain and Korea support a finding of mobile phone dependency
among mobile users. Two-thirds of the Brits surveyed by Lloyds TSB felt concerned
if they left their mobiles at home, some said they felt “freaked out and panicky.”
Marketing Insight found Korean users to be extremely dependent upon mobiles;
over half the respondents feel insecure when their mobile battery runs flat. In the
U.S there is concern that dependency upon mobile phones may undermine self-
reliance and self-esteem. Psychologist Joseph Tecce told the Sacramento Bee,
“leaning heavily on cell phones for advice or psychological nurturance is effective in
reducing anxiety in the short term…but a problem might arise without mobile
phone, and then helplessness rules the hour.”

This brings us back to my current dilemma. I’m still waiting at the train station,
totally absorbed in conceiving this article. It occurs to me that being “disconnected”
has forced me to just stay still. In this situation there is nothing for me to do: no
emails to check, nobody to talk to, nothing to read. I can only relax and wait. The
convenience of the mobile phone is the ability to operate in real time–sending and
receiving information continuously. The downfall is that when we operate in real
time the speed of life increases, giving us less time to just relax and wait.

Emily Sims is the doyenne of cool ringtones. She has written many articles on ringtone culture, and knows the difference between a polyphonic ringtone and a
wallpaper. I mean, who doesn’t.