The Refresh Orlando Heirs

When your partner has made critical comments about you, have you ever entertained the sneaking doubt that he, or she, might be right?

Any abusive relationship is a brainwashing relationship. It is a relationship in which one person’s best interests are served by denigrating another and reducing their personal power and self-worth. Often the abuser does this by leveraging an old feeling of inadequacy.

Possibly one of the most shameless examples that I’ve seen recently was at a family wedding, last week, where the groom used his speech to tell the assembled guests, in some detail, how his ‘beautiful bride’ drove the wrong way up a road. Her driving, he said, taught him to pray…

Had the bride not been used to being put down by her family, she might just have crowned him with at least one tier of the wedding cake.

Instead, she failed to react. It’s only conjecture on my part, but I’d guess she was thinking: “Well, I know I don’t drive too well, so it probably is funny.” Well, maybe.

The moment may, or may not, have been funny. Her groom’s unilateral decision to ‘share’ it with 200+ people on what’s meant to be the most special day of her life is, quite simply, out of order. It was the groom using shorthand to let everyone in the room know that his bride is an idiot.

Actually, some of us thought that the groom was an oaf.

But the fact remains, if, like the bride, you are used to being treated with a lack of consideration, you will probably justify the person making the criticism. Your conditioning has taught you to believe that if you are less than perfect – and you are, inevitably, because 100% success rate in all areas of your life at all times is impossible – then you are fairly worthless.

Now this is a key belief of victims of abuse on which the power of an abusive partner hinges. Your errors, failings, mistakes, shortcomings –whatever you care to call them – never affect your human worth. They only make you fallible.

Fallibility does not affect worth. It’s that simple. Our mistakes etc. do not in any way undermine our unique, inalienable value as human beings. However we mess up in any given situation, we are still okay, worthy, lovable human beings.

Since this is always the case, it is the behaviour of our critic that merits scrutiny rather than our own.

Deliberately disregarding or undermining another human being is out of order. Expanding a comment from the particular to the general is out of order. Using one instance of fallibility to challenge your ability or worth in every area of your life is out of order.

Weasel words like: “you always, “you never” are out of order. Shifting blame for your responses or behaviour onto another person are out of order.

With time you become so used to being blamed and criticised for everything that you accept it as your lot. Before you can question criticism, you have to have a yardstick to measure it by. Often that yardstick is: is it, or isn’t it, abusive? If it is then you are justified in challenging it; if not, then you are not.

Other, much used criteria are: ‘is this criticism fair? and “is this a deliberate attempt to hurt me or shift blame onto me?”

The thing is, if you don’t have a clear sense of your own acceptability, how can you possibly judge accurately? Instead of reacting, you can find yourself puzzling about the rights and wrongs of the case.

What we’re talking about here are fairly crude behaviours. You are quite justified in assessing them by a fairly crude rule of thumb. If your instinctive response to them is to feel humiliated, hurt and disregarded, then the other person is out of order. Voilà! That’s all there is to it.

Sometimes people are out of order in their behaviour towards you. And not just your partner. If that’s the way it feels, that’s the way it is.

Contrary to what a partner, or other, may have told you, you’re no diva constantly on the lookout for imaginary slights. You’re an extraordinarily long-suffering person. Not least because, in the past, you’ve always started from the flawed assumption that the other person is bound to be okay and you must be out of order. Not so.

You’re okay. That’s a given.

Whenever anyone attempts to diminish and challenge your human worth they are out of order. It may not always be worth your time and energy to point this out to them, but it’s certainly worth your while to internalise this thought.

(C) 2006 Annie Kaszina

Annie Kaszina Ph D, is a coach and writer who has helped hundreds of women to rebuild their confidence and their life after an abusive relationship. Annie is the author of “The Woman You Want To Be”. This ebook will teach you how you can love yourself first, so that you can create strong self-belief and build the fulfilling future you’re looking for on firm foundations.

To find out more and sign up to Annie’s free bi-monthly ezine visit http://www.joyfulcoaching.com You can email Annie at: annie@joyfulcoaching.com

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Nature
The sky is gray
On this late summer day
As the sun imbues
Its various hues
Upon the scene.
A sight to be seen,
A beauty to behold,
A thousand campfire stories to be told.

With the settling twilight
And the settling night
Comes the settling fog
About every log,
Every limb
As the light continues to dim.

Yet, do you hear it?
Yes, a kindred spirit,
As it beckons
To us, Nature’s patrons,
Who think deep thoughts of
All things up above
And things all around
And adventures upon which to bound.
Well then,
Let’s begin,
Before this great night can end!

Nature II
As I continue to tread
The well-worn path between the trees,
Many thoughts swim in my head
Of the refreshing beauties
Of the crisp, clean air
Playing in my hair,
The rainbow
That has begun to show
Over the tips of the trees,
The birds’ outspoken symphonies,
And the sun-rays that warm my face
As I pass each open, sun-lit space.

Nature has its own music,
Its own specially tuned melody.
I never want to lose it,
For what it means to me,
I can never fully express,
Even as my feelings well up in my chest.
It is here in the forest,
This place of nature and spirit,
That I feel blessed,
And ignore the old habit
Of humankind
To mind
Its own business
And forget about the wilderness.

Come friend,
Let’s walk this path again,
Before this great day can end!

Nature III
In that sky so immense,
I see clouds something dense,
Holding tight and tense,
Ready to drop their contents,
In order to rinse
And cleanse
All this poetic nonsense.
Yes, I’m guilty of many sins.

On this grayest of days,
While watching the lightning blaze,
I’m pondering my all too human ways,
Hoping to soon see hopeful sun rays,
To brighten my own soul’s shadowy grays.

I now realize,
That until our demise,
That which is good and right
In God’s sight
Our nature often defies
And denies.

Nonetheless,
Let me not digress,
For I hope and work for the best,
And I must never rest,
For God promises
Salvation and nothing less
To those who would in Him believe
And their own sinner state quickly leave.
Now, as we find God’s love strong and true,
We can begin our adventures anew,
And enjoy nature once again,
Before this great day can end!

Nature IV
As I walk down the glistening beach,
I watch the waves break on the shore.
All nature’s joy seems within reach,
And I enjoy it all the more.

Many are the sights that I behold:
Lots of people fishing on the pier,
Lovers whose whispers will go untold,
And young swimmers who have no fear!

Yet, even as I watch the birds,
And they dive in to look for fish,
I realize that even these words
Can’t properly describe all this!

Nonetheless, the great tide of life
Still continues to ebb and flow.
Live by faith, for all of our strife
Will be solved by God, not what we know.

Now then, let’s begin this journey again!
Let us walk down the beach hand in hand,
Until the afternoon tide comes in,
And it overtakes us walking in the sand!

Owen Johnston lives and teaches Wado ryu Karate in Lake City, South Carolina. He enjoys reading, writing, training, and spending time with his fiance. The above poetry was excerpted from the author’s book titled “Heaven on Earth”, a sample of which is available at Johnston Wado ryu Karate - Online Community.

Scrapbooking can frequently be viewed as a woman’s hobby. There are however, many instances throughout the long history of this popular craft where men have played significant roles in developing the art that is loved by millions of hobbyists today. Unfortunately, the pull for men in scrapbooking was often the money, while there is plenty of evidence that some of them truly did enjoy scrapbooking as a hobby. Here are some of the finer achievements of men in scrapbooking history.

- In the mid 1800’s, London based “W. H. Rock” began producing leather albums with pre-printed pages of flowers and birds. These albums became popular for scrapbooking hobbyists.

- In 1857, the production of “carte-de-vista” albums, containing photograph pockets, became popular.

- Mark Twain, best known for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn invented “Mark Twain’s Adhesive Scrapbook” with pre-pasted pages. This idea was one of his most loved business adventures, possibly because it earned him over $50,000. Don’t be too easily fooled, however, because Mark Twain enjoyed scrapbooking so much that he devoted his Sunday afternoon to keeping his scrapbooking albums up to date.

- Thomas Jefferson was an addicted scrapbooker. His albums included news clippings, drawings, and dried leaves. Men in the eighteenth century helped to produce “Dutch Gilt” or “Dutch Flowered Papers” (lithography or stenciling in Holland or Germany) using wood, metal, or blocks. Originally intended to line cupboards, these patterns quickly became a favorite in the scrapbooks of the day.

- In the 1870’s companies began mass producing embossed paper for use in scrapbooking albums.

- While stickers, iron-on letters, buttons, rubber stamps, and metal accents are used today in scrapbooking, the Prang Company developed “album cards” for use in scrapbooks of the nineteenth century. These sets of ten cards were pictures of birds, flowers, or landscapes to be used in scrapbooks.

- Most nineteenth century scrapbooks have “calling cards” in them. These decorated cards were left by guests at the host’s home. They eventually made their way into many scrapbooks because of the fond memories of wonderful parties and dances, not just by women, but, as you have already guessed, by men.

Kathy Williams loves scrapbooking and
rubber stamping. She currently
spends much of her time in her online rubber stamp store
Rubber Stamping Fun

The word chakra is Sanskrit for “moving wheel.” The traditional 7 major chakras are the psychic energy centers located along the spine. They serve as channels, or portals for the universal life force that animates us.

Various life traumas can upset our chakras, causing them to become blocked or damaged. When this happens, it can affect our lives in adverse ways.

Knowing what our chakras are trying to tell us, and following their guidance can help us overcome all kinds of obstacles in life.

For example, if you are experiencing a lack of stability in your life, you will know your root chakra needs help and you’ll know that you can benefit from more red in your life. The color stimulates proper movement of the corresponding chakra, allowing it to process your life information the way it was meant to.

Using color is only one way of balancing your chakras. There are also foods you can eat, stones you can wear, essential aromas you can use, even planets you can learn from!

Here is a little quick-reference guide to the chakras and some of their correspondences:

1. Root Chakra - Muladhara (Root Support Center)
Color - Red
Location - Base of spine
Gland - Adrenals
Body part - Legs, feet
Food - Protein
Aromas - Cinnamon, myrrh
Stones - Garnet, hematite
Planet - Saturn
Qualities - Stability, self-mastery

2. Sacral Chakra - Svadhisthana (Sweetness)
Color - Orange
Location - Sacrum/spleen
Gland - Gonads
Body part - Ovaries, testes
Food - Liquid
Aromas - Sandalwood, Rose
Stimulating Stone - Carnelian
Planet - Moon
Qualities - Motivation, sexuality

3. Naval Chakra - Manipura (Wheeled City of Jewels)
Color - Yellow
Location - Solar Plexus
Gland - Pancreas
Body part - Digestive system
Food - Grain
Aromas - Ylang ylang, bergamot
Stones - Citrine, amber
Planet - Mars
Qualities - Power, focus

4. Heart Chakra - Anahata (Wheel of Unstruck Sound)
Color - Green
Location - Heart
Gland - Thymus
Body part - Lungs
Food - Vegetables
Aromas - Rose, Melissa
Stone - Kunzite, rose quartz
Planet - Venus
Qualities - Love, harmony

5. Throat Chakra - Visshuda (Wheel of Purity)
Color - Blue
Location - Throat
Gland - Thyroid
Body part - Ears
Food - Fruit
Aromas - Eucalyptus, chamomile
Stones - Azurite, turquoise
Planet - Mercury
Qualities - Communication, expression

6. Third Eye Chakra - Ajna (To Perceive)
Color - Indigo
Location - Brow
Gland - Pineal
Body part - Eyes
Food - Fruit
Aromas - Lavender, hyacinth
Stone - Sugalite, fluorite
Planet - Jupiter
Qualities - Vision, imagination

7. Crown Chakra - Sahasrara - (Thousand-Spoked Wheel)
Color - Violet
Location - Top of head
Gland - Pituitary
Body part - Central nervous system
Food - Fasting
Aromas - Jasmine, frankincense
Stone - Quartz, amethyst
Planet - Uranus
Qualities - Spirituality, Enlightenment

Any time you notice you are lacking in one of the qualities above or having trouble with one of the body parts, use this information to balance your chakras. As you can see there are many ways to balance your chakras. Try different ways and see what works best for you!

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You have permission to reprint what you just read. Use it in your e-zine, at your website or in your newsletter. The only requirement is that you include the following footer…

Article by Avalon De Witt. Visit http://www.AskAvalon.com for more original content like this. Reprint permission granted with this footer included.

About the Author

Avalon De Witt is an authentic psychic by birth and a survivor of a near-death experience. Her gifts include clairvoyance, clairaudience, empathic ability, dream interpretation and healing. She has studied the Tarot and other forms of divination for over 23 years. Avalon has practiced as a professional psychic and spiritual counselor for over 12 years. She has worked successfully with thousands of clients world-wide.

The following practice, if done regularly, may help you to
safeguard your computer to some extent.

1. Run disc clean up, scan disk and defragmentor.

2. Keep your recycle bin emptied.

3. Clean your cache of browsers.

4. Download only the very essential programs that are required
to run your business and avoid the habit of downloading whatever
you get for free.

5. Update your programs to keep up the latest technology and also
for a faster load time.

6. Never open suspicious emails from unknown people, especially
the attachments however tempting it may be. It will be hazardous
to your computer. Sometimes you may even get emails with
attachments with subject saying your “Thank you for your order
and the credit card details”. Most of them will be sending
malicious viruses through those attachments.

7. Above all remember to protect your computer with antivirus soft ware and update it regularly.

8. Backing up of all your important files and store them in two
sets of floppies. In case one floppy fails to open the other
one would be of help.

Before calling the technical help, it will be wise to try the
following simple step, which may help you to sort out your problem.

Carefully check your connecting cord and circuit board of your
computer. A gentle push may solve the problem, correcting the loose connection and a big expenditure of calling the technical person can be eliminated.

Lakshmi Menon is a a Juvio Independent Associate Member.
For computer help please visit: http://mela.juvio.com

Digital technology like computers, Ipods & Internet access are
changing the way we get to listen to music. Whether we agree or
not, most of us are using the resources given by the internet to
get the music we want, either by downloading mp3s or finding our
favorite radion station online. Computers are becoming more and
more important for most of us to listen to music.

A recent Forrester report indicates that there would be 35
million online radio users by the end of the century. One in
five people say that they listen to Internet radio on their
computers.

Consider the fact that Internet radio is loaded with more than
10,000 online stations; it can repackage live and stored
collections to equip the emerging digital audio user with more
niche content and also give the user single click access to the
digital content available on the Internet.

Using Internet radio

Listening to internet radio is more convenient than choosing to
play your own music. Forget the hassles of selecting and
compiling your play lists. Let someone else do it for you. A
great wealth of digital content exists for you to explore. The
beauty lies in exploring this “never heard before” music.

A wealth of genre specific stations are available for any type
of music. A Specific station can be chosen to match your mood,
stay upto date with news back home or even that incredible
concert in London you missed. At home or work, listening to
Internet radio, away from the PC, is now possible with the
Portable Internet radio receiver.

Technology Involved

Portable Internet radio receivers bring the comfort of listening
to radio away from your PC. The portability would give the user
the ability to walk away from their personal computer and
household and still access their favorite Internet station.

Merconnet, aware of this new technology has brought to the
market SONO, a digital audio player with universal tuner is the
first portable stereo system that allows access to more and more
Internet radio stations everyday, plays mp3’s and CD’s along
with FM broadcasts.

Ease Of Use

Plugging in the Base Unit to a PC’s USB port automatically
starts installation of the default Windows drivers. The SONO
Digital Media Player software driver works in conjunction with
all standard Windows device drivers. This leads to more
convenience in listening to digital audio away from the PC.

The portability approach to digital music is simple: it gives
the user a product that works out of the box to wirelessly pipe
music from a PC to any place in your house. The emerging
internet radio listener will be happy to avoid the complexity
and hassles of listening to internet radio any time, any where
around the house. The SONO Digital Media Player will allow you
to store your favorite internet radio stations and browse
through your mp3 files without touching your PC. This is yet
another example of how technology innovates for tomorrow. For
more information on this exciting new product, please visit
http://www.merconnet.com.

Computer security for most can be described in 2 words, firewall and antivirus.

Until recently could one install a firewall and an antivirus program and feel quite secure. The risk of something “bad” succeeding with infecting your computer or a hacker to breach your firewall was not likely.

This as internet was filled with computer completely without protection. Easier to attack or infect the completely open computer then fight all installed counter measurements. The viruses spread quickly and if you had protection, you where protected.

The new era has come.

But look around. Read about all new versions of spam control software, software firewalls, antivirus software and similar products.

Of course are they still a good protection against all the normal threats on internet, but the new main focus is the protection they offer against new threats.

Yes, they actually all try to come up with more and more cleaver ways of protecting you from threats not even present!

And how can they do this?

The answer is quite simple.

Most attacks and viruses use variations of known methods to attack or infect. And the new technologies that are being invented all search for “how things are done” instead of “exactly this or that”.

How to find viruses.

The old way, a known virus can be found by using a signature, a known piece of code inside.

The new way, now they look for known actions certain viruses use to accomplish an infection or spreading.

How to recognize an attack.

The old way. Someone connecting to your computer in any way at all (stop them).

The new way, someone connecting via this protocol, to this port, more then 3 times per second and so on.

A couple of examples.

Norton Antivirus 2005 ™ has, Internet Worm Protection. Panda Antivirus ™ has, Trueprevent.

Other companies will follow and this will expand into other areas like firewalls and spam protection.

What’s in it for you?

New protection will catch more virus, more attacks but they will most probably require more configuration from your side as well as a better understanding of how they work. And as always, a more complex system is more likely to give you problems.

So here you are, probably a bit more secure and with a bit more technical problems.

Kenth “The Designer” Nasstrom is the founder of The Designed Software Series. His software can be found at http://www.kndata.com and he also owns http://www.free-newslettertemplates.com as well as http://www.costa-rican-information.com