You’ve probably been hearing a lot about Emotional Intelligence
and wondering what it is. In this article we’ll talk about what
Emotional Intelligence is, what it can do for you, and why it’s
the best solution for your challenges.

DEFINITION

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is about your ability to understand
and manage your own feelings and those of others, and to use
this information to guide you to relate better, plan more
flexibly, make better decisions, think more creatively,
prioritize, motivate yourself and others, and enjoy better
health.

Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence,” defined it
as “the wider range of qualities which enable people to excel –
self-awareness, impulse control, persistence, empathy, etc.”

WHAT CAN IT DO FOR YOU?

Emotional Intelligence is based on a number of competencies you
can learn. Four of them are CREATIVITY, INTENTIONALITY,
RESILIENCE and AUTHENTICITY. Depending upon which system you
study, there are around a dozen of these competencies.

WHY IT’S THE BEST SOLUTION: Occam’s Razor

The Principle of Parsimony originated with mediaeval philosophy.
It means you shouldn’t make more assumptions than the minimum
needed.

The Principle of Parsimony became known as Occam’s Razor because
William of Occam (or Ockham), an influential 14th century
British philosopher and theologian used it so often. Here is his
photo: http://wotug.kent.ac.uk/parallel/www/occam/occam.gif .

“Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate,” he wrote, or
“plurality should not be posited without necessity,” which could
be rephrased as “keep it simple.” It means we should use the
razor to keep shaving things off of theories and explanations
until we get to the essence. Choose the simplest explanation
that covers the data; the one that requires the fewest leaps of
logic. THE CHALLENGE

Now, say you don’t get along at the office. You’re stuck working
with someone you can’t stand. They’re always backbiting you and
this has happened before. You’re not in the loop. You aren’t
included and you know it’s holding you back professionally. In a
word you might say, “I don’t get along at work.”

Should you decide to consult a therapist, [s]he would begin
looking for causes and generating hypotheses and they would be
multiple (or plural). Hypotheses are reasons why something is
happening. The therapist might want to know about your childhood
and your physical health. Maybe your father beat you, or you’re
in chronic pain from a back injury. Do you have an authority
conflict? Where were you in the birth order? Are you in a
co-dependent relationship? Are you hostile? Passive-aggressive?
Do you have bad breath or body odor? Do you hate men?

It’s possible to find an individual for whom all those “causes”
would be true and if you’re thinking in that vein, most people
would have multiple causes. If you are in chronic pain and were
abused as a child, both could explain your not being able to get
along with people, and neither one could be eliminated.

OCCAM’S RAZOR

Now let’s apply Occam’s Razor. What’s the most parsimonious
explanation for why you don’t get along? BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW
HOW TO.

·Why aren’t you CREATIVE? Because you don’t know how to be. ·Why
aren’t you INTENTIONAL? Because you don’t know how to be. ·Why
aren’t you RESILIENT? Because you don’t know how to be. ·Why
aren’t you AUTHENTIC? Because you don’t know how to be.

Emotional Intelligence teaches you how. These are all
competencies that can be learned.

LEARNING EQ

I read on someone’s website the other day that EQ is hard to
learn. On the contrary, I find most clients pick it up quickly
because it’s such a relief. “No one ever explained that to
me,”they say, or “Now I get it.” These competencies are things
we can always improve throughout our lifetime, however most
people see immediate positive results. The point is to set the
train on the tracks so it can start rolling.

EQ is such a good system, Lulwa, a client in Abu Dhabi took the
program on the Internet, with interaction by phone, instant
message and email and said, after just 3 months: [quote] Since I
started learning emotional intelligence, I have noticed the
following positive changes:

1.I am more patient in dealing with angry people. 2.The ability
to empathize with others helps in being able to receive love
from others 3.I get in less fights in conversations 4.It is
easier for me to solve problems

Lulwa, who gave me permission to quote her, was getting benefits
in her life after just a few weeks. Undoubtedly she will
continue improving because she has the foundation in place and
is getting rewards. Why would you stop doing something that
makes it easier for you to solve problems? Once you’ve learned
empathy, you can’t forget it.

Colleen Sibeijn, who took The EQ Foundation Course© (
http://www.webstrategies.cc/EQcourse.htm ), weekly interactive
lessons on the internet for three monts, also got quick and
lasting results. “I did the course last year and have become so
much more in tune with my emotions and of those around me,” she
said. “I am more in control of them and my family and friends
have noticed.”

BENEFITS

So benefits are rapid and long-lasting because they’re
self-perpetuating. Taking our four competencies again,

·CREATIVITY: Picasso was creative, but if it were something you
‘have’ one day forever, he wouldn’t have had a blue period and a
cubism period. ·RESILIENCE: Life can throw us a curve that
requires a new level of resilience, but once you know how to be
resilient, you have the building blocks. ·INTENTIONALITY: As you
continue to apply Intentionality to the projects and
relationships in your life, your ability at this will improve.
·AUTHENTICITY: Your ability to be authentic will be tested
daily, because it takes self-discipline. You can constantly flex
this muscle once you know where it is. Emotional Intelligence
teaches you the skills for making your life work better. It can
be learned and most people see results immediately. Now that you
know what it is, why not consider increasing yours?

The best method is to take a course and do some reading, and
then to have some coaching by a certified Emotional Intelligence
coach. EQ involves social and emotional skills, so you don’t
really learn them until you put them into practice and get
expert feedback. You can report back to your coach about how you
handled something and learn what would’ve worked better, and you
can also work directly with your coach on skills as the need
occurs in the coaching conversation.

There’s no downside, and the upside is very helpful.